Closing Walls and Ticking Clocks
Seemingly as hard as it is to believe, it almost seems so surreal so dreamlike that more than twenty two years have flown by since I have come to this utopia as a little child flailing and wailing. All along it has been studies, fun, school, college, family and friends. Now there is time, plenty of it, for reflection at each and every moment that passed by before I get into the frenzied rush of a career.
Somewhere deep down buried in the avalanche of things I want to do and things I have done, there is anxiety, there is this shaky anticipation and excitement to go down a path that I haven’t trotted on before, an unknown path, a path that I dared not take.
Just another cycle of life I guess. I turn around and see the moments I have had. Sometimes I see myself uproot, every time that happens, I see myself hovering above it for an abnormally long time. Times when I jumped with joy, times I relish and relive, times when I blamed myself, times which I can’t put off with. Times when I got what I needed but not what I wanted, times when I lost something which I couldn’t replace. Desolation, dejection to unseen elation and exhilaration- I have scaled both sides of the chart. Way beneath some tiny sacrifices, some earnest decisions, I see my choices.
I still am not able to comprehend what brought up this drastic change. Probably the peaks, probably days with people unknown, probably the woods, probably with bustling rivers- a new reason, a different cause just over powered me. I questioned myself- about something that I couldn’t cage inside me. I probed deeper. Soon the dust of memories, waves of moments- I was ready to leave behind.
Savouring the stunning creations of the countryside, appreciating its eclectic splendour, endless flavours and just treating life as another holiday made it all simpler. An awareness of mortality, a need to reinvent and appreciate, to be part of an absorbing feeling that nothing is impossible – to fall in love with a place, a culture, a person – and to never be able to turn back from there took over. Heart’s most genuine longings began to manifest. The art of acknowledgement, of forgiveness, of loving and acceptance just got a lot easier. A sense of gratitude, a feeling of satisfaction and joy, a glimmer of flamboyance- I have learnt to treat each moment as a new reflection of life pleading to be lived, asking to be enjoyed.
This post is in response to Daily Prompt’s challenge.