Someone stop that chicken!
Yeah, you noticed it right. I had been busy for the past few days. I was off on a quest to find out the answers to a question that had plagued me since a long long time. Why did the chicken cross the road? I, for one never understood what the fuss about such a dumb thing actually was. But the more I wondered, the harder it was getting to answer. I met numerous people as I crossed one road after the other. People from various walks of life; each with their own reasons, some throwing tantrums and others stamping down their theories. Some rose from the news channels to yell it out loud, others came out of my good old rotting science and history text books. But mostly they all walked down the highway of the internet-them with their opinions. Tell me who is right! Rid me of this plague.
PLATO: For the greater good.
MARTIN LUTHER KING: It had a dream.
BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
MICHAEL SCHUMACHER: It was an instinctive manoeuvre; the chicken obviously didn’t see the road until he had already started to cross.
KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.
MAX PLANCK: It appears to be a white chicken. Sorry, I deal only with black bodies.
ARCHIMEDES: I was running through the streets yelling and screaming, and it was only afterwards that I realized I was carrying a chicken.
SIR ISAAC NEWTON: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest. Chickens in motion tend to cross the road.
EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
COLONEL SANDERS (Famed for Kentucky Fried Chicken): I missed one?
RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.
LORD KELVIN: I don’t know. But I think the road actually starts back there a bit.
CHRISTIAN DOPPLER: It always sounds a bit down when it’s heading over there, but rather upbeat when it’s coming back.
EDWIN HUBBLE: Strange, it seems to move faster the farther away it gets.
ERNEST RUTHERFORD: The differential cross section for forward chicken scattering is quite large, so the chicken will most likely cross the road if it was initially heading in that direction.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.
RONALD REAGAN: I forget.
HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.
DARWIN: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.
MARK TWAIN: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.
MACBETH: To have turned back were as tedious as to go o’er.
MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, “Thou shalt cross the road.” And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
ERWIN SCHRODINGER: The chicken doesn’t cross the road. Rather, it exists simultaneously on both sides…..just don’t peek.
RICHARD FEYNMAN: There was this good-looking rooster on the other side of the road, and he figured he’d skip all the games and just get to the point. So he asked the chicken if she’d like to come over to his side, and she said sure.
STEPHEN HAWKING: Chicken fluctuations will inevitably create a scenario where a chicken ends up on the other side of the yellow line, in which case there is a non-zero probability that it will escape to the other side.
OLIVER STONE: The question is not, “Why did the chicken cross the road?” Rather, it is, “Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?”
MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
HAMLET: To cross, or not to cross, that is the question: –
Whether ’tis nobler in the mind, to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous side;
Or to take arms against a road of troubles,
And by crossing end them?
ROBERT FROST: To cross the road less travelled by.